Staying Motivated

Why is it so hard to stay motivated? In this blog I explore some of the main reasons we find it hard to stay motivated and the number one reason people don’t achieve their goals and dreams.  Because, let’s face it, if you can’t stay motivated, you are not going to live your best life.

We all know the feeling. We wake up one day determined to change our life. Maybe it is getting in shape, losing weight, eating healthier, cutting out sugar, stopping drinking, finding a more fulfilling job, starting a business, taking a class, starting a new hobby, getting out of a relationship that is going nowhere.  You tell yourself: Today is the day.

Then after a week or two – or maybe a little as a day or two – the enthusiasm drops, you start cutting corners, four workouts per week drops to three, you sneak some snacks, or turn in a half-hearted assignment in that course you are taking. Or you spend valuable hours mindlessly scrolling through social media or watching television. You are having trouble staying motivated. You know what I mean, we have all felt it. We slip back into the old comfort levels and start settling deeper and deeper into our circumstances.

Our Brains Are Working Against Us

Many of today’s so-called experts will tell you it is all about your mindset.  This is a great theory, and it is easy to jump on board, but it is not that easy. Don’t get me wrong, mindset is important but there are some things that need to happen first, and you need to understand, or you will get trapped by what I call “The Mindset Myth”. The first thing to know is that your brain is working against you.  It is programmed or wired to keep you doing the same things you have always been doing. Let me explain without getting too deep into the science. If you are a neuroscientist, please resist the urge to correct me and show me and others that your brain is better than mine. This is just a very simplified explanation.

Dendrites are like tiny little wires in our brain that carry electrical impulses which is the way our brain receives instructions.  The more they send the same set of instructions the more hardwired they become, and the brain even creates a type of insulation around the wires so the electrical impulses can move faster.

Let’s say your existing set of instructions is to eat something sweet before going to bed or to sit on the couch for 3 hours watching TV. There needs to be some new wiring for the new instructions to travel down so your new, desired behaviours can take place. You start to rewire your brain with your new behaviours but remember the old ones have insulation so the information travels faster down the old wires and it takes a while for the new ones to build up insulation.

And there is the added challenge of dopamine. Dopamine is the pleasure chemical. When we do something we enjoy, like eating chocolate, watching TV or scrolling through social media, we get more dopamine than when we eat a salad, read some mind expanding text book or get some exercise. At least until we break the old habit and use the new wiring regularly.

It seems like a daunting task because our own brain working against us. It can be done if you can stay motivated. But how?

Behaviours not Outcomes

Start by focusing on behaviours instead of outcomes. Outcomes happen because we change our behaviours. To get the desired outcome, changes need to happen.  Yes, I said changes, not change.  It is seldom, if ever, that a significant outcome in our lives occurs because of one change. It is a series of small changes that produce the result.

If we focus on the end result it usually looks unattainable, to big, or too far away. We will have trouble staying motivated. Focus on what you can do today that will get you a bit closer to your goal or outcome.

Make small changes. For example: Don’t reduce calories by one thousand calories per day. Start by reducing one or two hundred calories per day.  Or don’t tell yourself you are going to work out 5 times per week because you likely won’t. Life gets in the way. Set a baseline of two or three per week. Or just start by promising yourself you will get some exercise every day. There are two reasons for doing it this way. First, it is more attainable so your positive behaviour will produce more desire in you to keep it up. Second, if you set the bar too high and don’t achieve it, your inner critic is more likely to get down on you and you might give up and retreat to the old comfortable patterns.

You are not going to create the life of your dreams in one day. Have a plan, change today. Then do that every day.

For more information on how small changes produce big results download my free e-book 1% Better Every Day.

Poor Goal Setting

Another reason we can’t stay motivated is because of poor goal setting. Most of us set goals of some type. Many times, we don’t achieve them. The reason we don’t achieve them is because they are too vague. They need to be rooted in some type of change we are really committed to, or we will lose motivation.  If our desire to change is based on some vague notion of a desired result, we will never achieve it. We need to know why we want it and see a path to get there, or it will not materialize. A goal without a plan is just a wish.

If you want to lock in your goals, follow my SMART formula. For goals to become a reality, they need to be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and have a Timeframe.

I talk about the SMART formula and the importance of having goals anchored in your “Why” – you purpose in my free e-book Escape Your Humdrum Life.

Often what we think are our goals are really someone else’s view of how we should be. Society, the media and even friends and family tell us we should look a certain way, live a certain lifestyle, drive a certain car, wear certain clothes. These messages get so ingrained in our brains, and we see so many images of them, we believe we need to be living that way or we are a failure. Nothing could be further from the truth.

We need to live our lives and set our goals according to our personal tastes, dreams, and values. To do that we need peel back all the years and layers of messaging. We need to get to our core values. We need to find a why.  Living life to please other people instead of being true to themselves is the single most frequent regret people have on their deathbed. Don’t let it be yours.

BPAs – Basic Personal Assumptions

No amount of self-improvement will make up for any lack of self-acceptance.

Our basic personal assumptions – the way we see ourselves and what we believe about ourselves at our core, is the #1 reason people not achieve their goals and do not live the life they dream of.

You can take (maybe you have) any number of self-improvement courses, read books every day, listen to podcast after podcast but if you don’t believe you deserve, or are worthy at your core level, you are wasting time and effort. That’s not to say that you won’t make some small improvements or improve for a short while in some areas. But if your Basic Personal Assumptions don’t support your goals, you will settle in again and again to the path of least resistance, climb back on the hamster wheel and live the same old same old.

You may not even be aware, but your inner critic (we all have one) is willing to work overtime to keep you right where you are. In my e-book Talk To Yourself Like Someone You Are Trying To Help, I address this and give you daily affirmations and quotes that will help you overcome the negative tapes a little each day. You can order your free copy here: Talk To Yourself Like Someone You Are Trying To Help

If you want to take a deeper dive and pull all the pieces together learn set achievable goals, overcome your Basic Personal Assumptions, quit procrastinating, stay motivated and Create a Life That is So Great You Can’t Wait to Get Out of Bed, sign up for my course Escape Your Humdrum Life.

Hop on over to my website (click the link below) where you can learn more about the course and if you sign up before June 30^th, 2022, I will give you a 50% discount off the regular course price. It doesn’t cost anything to check it out so go ahead, you have nothing to lose.

When you get there, if you decide it is time to change your life just click on the big pink “Save My Seat” button and your discount will be given at check out when you enter coupon code: juneblog50.

Click link below to find out more:

Escape Your Humdrum Life – Create a Life That is so Great You Can’t Wait to Get Out of Bed