What is the meaning of life? This is a question that has dogged humankind for centuries. Philosophers and people from every walk of life have asked this question, or some form of it, at least once and maybe hundreds of times. The answer is elusive and personal. While philosophers may be searching for an overarching answer for the entire human race, I believe this a much more personal question. And one that each of us ask ourselves for various reasons and at various times in our lives.
It may come in the form of: “What is my why?” “Why am I here?” “What is my purpose?” “How can I leave my mark.” “How should I measure success?” or “What is it I live for?”
I conducted a survey and found that only 17% of people I asked this one question of, had an answer. The question: What is it you live for?
The 83% at couldn’t tell me what they live for, described lives that were repetitive, monotonous, absent of variety and excitement. Some said they were on the hamster wheel and couldn’t find a way off. Some said they were living their Groundhog Day. Others spoke of “settling into their circumstances.”
Finding a purpose or knowing what it is you live for, might sound like something that would be “nice to have” but it is much more important than that. Research has shown that having a sense of purpose reduces stress, improves physical health, and can help you live longer. People who know their purpose are less depressed and less anxious.
These periods in our lives, are often referred to as an existential crisis.
What is an existential crisis?
An existential crisis is a collection or group of feelings that cause us to question the meaning or purpose of our lives. They are more common than you may think, and we can have more than one in our lifetimes.
They can happen at times when we feel bored or stuck in our lives, or in a rut. They can happen in times of transition or triggering events. These might include the loss of a job, the loss of a loved one, a divorce, children growing up and moving out, retirement or a health scare.
Often, they occur around the time of birthday milestones such as 30, 40, 50 or 65 years old. These milestones can cause reflection around questions like: What have I accomplished so far in my life, or What can I do with the time I have left?
What happens in these times of introspection depends on four main factors:
- Do you see this time of questioning as a positive or negative thing?
- Do you have a desire to make changes?
- Are you wiling to do some deep work to find your purpose – your why?
- Are you willing to make the changes necessary in your life to reach your goals?
When life gives you lemons…
Make lemonade. The greatest changes come at times of greatest discomfort. A triggering event can be an opportunity for transformation. Once you are through the initial shock of the event and have taken time to process its significance, look for the opportunities it creates. Even if it is just the discomfort of entering a new decade in your life, harness the feelings and start looking at the possibilities.
A job loss or kids leaving home might signal that it is time to start the business you have been dreaming of or write a book. Maybe it frees up time to join a cause or start the hobby you have been procrastinating about or go back to school.
It could be a chance to find your purpose or reclaim it if it has been buried in the busyness of life.
Take time to reflect, think about what makes you happiest and how you can use your time to make changes that will energize and revitalize you. Ask yourself questions like: Am I happiest when I am creating? Am I happiest when I am around people or in solitude? What goals did I have when I was younger that I left behind? Will my friends and family support my choices? Where do I see myself in 5, 10 or 20 years?
For some direction on how to change your life, download a free copy of my e-book: Escape Your Humdrum Life.
Finding your purpose
You may have never really known your purpose or can’t relate to the concept. Or you may have thought you knew it but now you are not sure. Or maybe you knew your purpose and that part of your journey is ending or has ended and it is time to find something new to get you excited about life again.
7 Step process to find your purpose:
- Take inventory. You need to know your starting place so evaluate your situation
- What needs to change? Decide what attitudes, behaviours and people are not serving you.
- Visioning. Imagine yourself in your new life. What would it be like? What would you be doing? Where would you be living?
- Determine what is holding you back. Is it real or perceived? Are you sabotaging yourself? The secret to this step is in how you see yourself.
- Set SMART goals. Most of us set goals and many of them we don’t achieve. Are your goals Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and have a Timeframe?
- Routine and Discipline. Successful people who live a life they love, follow routines and are disciplined.
- Staying motivated. Your purpose should pull you along if you have picked the right one. But even the best of us has bad days. Allow for those but if it is more than 2 or 3 in a row, you need to reevaluate your purpose.
Final Thoughts
Wouldn’t it be nice to wake up each morning with the same sense of excitement you have when you are about to take a long-awaited trip?
Sadly 83% of people wake up to just go through the motions of the day. Little, if anything, to look forward to except getting home after work, eat dinner, watch a bit of television or scroll through social media, go to bed and do it all again.
It doesn’t need to be like that, and you have the power to change it if you want to get off the hamster wheel of life, stop living your Groundhog Day and change your circumstances instead of settling into them.
Take control, change it up, find your purpose. Live the day instead of surviving the day.
If you are ready to make changes, I invite you to join me and take my course: Click link for more information. Escape Your Humdrum Life – Create a Life That is so Great You Can’t Wait to Get Out of Bed.
Brad Oneil is a high-performance coach and therapist with 20 years of experience helping people break free from autopilot and create lives of purpose, passion, and potential. Knowing there is an overabundance of information available, he develops processes for transformation and guides clients to “trust the process” because content informs and process transforms.
